Back to the Fun Stuff!

Alright faithful 501 readers, I admit, like young Matthew, I'm sitting here at my desk asking similar life questions....what road will mine lead down, will I forever be doomed to a life on Long Island, when will my desire for a New Life reach an uncontrollable height, but I'd like to get back to one of the many things that makes life worth living...SPORTS!!!

Let's take a look at some of the latest news in the world of everything balls:

Super Sunday

Can I get anybody to take the Under on this game? Should be an old-fashioned shootout between The Pass Happy Colts and Formerly the 'Aints Now The Who Dat Saints. Speaking of Who Dat, did you hear the NFL is looking to take credit for the saying, though fans in the Big Easy have been proclaiming it from high-rises on the French Quarter since the days of Archie! Come on Roger, the fans in Norleans have been suffering for decades, give them a break! Prediction for the Matchup in Miami: Colts 37 Saints 30...just can't see Peyton losing this game, the man prepares for a football game like a Army general for war!

Sexy Rexy

Now Rex, I know your brash personality and bold predictions got your boys to the AFC Championship, I know you're a chip of the ole' Buddy Ryan block, I know the NY media adores you, I know part of the reason you're like this is because Woody Johnson is in your ear reminding you that the franchise still needs to sell a gazillion PSL's, and I know you're allergic to Subway, but flipping the bird to Miami fans down in South Beach....come on, who are you Titans owner Bud Adams or something! Grow up bud, you're the head coach of an NFL franchise!

The Greatest Athlete...Ever?

Now I'm not saying he is, but is it ridiculous to at least broach the question? 16 major championships, 22 major championship appearances, at least one win in every major, held the number 1 position for a record 237 consecutive weeks and has a propensity to literally steamroll his competition? Sure you can say Roger Federer didn't have to deal with the Sampras', McEnroe's, Connor's, or Lendl's, but you can't deny that this man (and pretty quietly without much fanfare by the way) has owned center court for almost a decade. Ask yourself this question...how great would Andy Murray, Andy Roddick and Rafael Nadal be without this man in the game?

A Call to the Hall?

Let the debate begin...Kurt Warner...Canton? Don't give me stats, I debate potential Hall of Famers this way...say his name...does he sound like a Hall of Famer? Kurt, I think you're great, you've had an incredible career that took you from bagging groceries, to the Arena League, to NFL Europe, to 3 SuperBowl appearances, but I just don't envision that gold jacket when I hear you're name. Congrats on an unbelievable career though!

Celtics/Lakers

The two teams that account for more than half of the titles given out in NBA history played a thriller on the new parquet floor yesterday. Had the game been played for three quarters, you'd have turned off the TV saying The Men in Green are perhaps the best team in The Association. Unfortunately for Beantowners, another 12 minutes were played in which Kobe, The Zen Master and rest of The Lake Show proved that they continue to be the bar by which the rest of the league is measured. The Black Mamba (worst nickname in sports) sucked the life out of the New Garden crowd when he hit a 15-footer with Ray Allen all over him like white on rice.

Draft Day Sleeper

Nobody is talking about him, but they soon will be...Texas all-world wideout Jordan Shipley...now let's be mature adults. White wide receiver...who comes to mind? Wes Welker, Brandon Stokley, Ed McAfferey...classic slot receivers. Not here though folks, Shipley runs routs like a black man...most mock drafts have him going in the middle to late second round. Consider it a five-finger discount if he lands in your team's lap!

College Hardwood

A few months ago I picked UNC, Tennessee, G-Town and Kentucky for my Final Four. Permit me a mulligan! My have things have gone downhill on one side of Tobacco Road...Roy's young guns haven't quite developed the way he hoped. In a toss up between 'Nova and 'Cuse, I'll take the Orange Crush!

Elaine Alden

Ya, I know I stole her from Barstool, but with good reason. Google her, Yahoo her, Bing her and you'll see why...hottest woman on the planet hands down!