The Big Boys

Well, we've looked at the undergrads, time to look at our seasoned graduates. I've long said that we know there is a God because as we slowly begin to pack up the beach cabanas, the bathing suits, the sunscreen...we unpack the tailgating equipment, the hooded sweatshirts and the Sam Adams Octoberfests! Summer may be coming to a close 501 fanatics, but tackle football is just beginning baby!!! Let's have a look at how I think 2009-2010 will shake out...

The American Football Conference

East

The Stetson model and Gisele Bundchen Boy Toy is back. I hate to go old hat here, but you can't pick against the Pats...expect HUGE numbers from both The Miiiiiiiiiichigan Boy and Randy Gene Moss. Bold Statement: Second only to Jerry Rice, Moss will go down as the greatest pass catcher in NFL history when he hangs up the cleats. Sleeper Pick: J E T S...Jets, Jets, Jets... could we have a third act to Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan's stellar freshmen seasons? I don't think it will be quite as good, but I do expect some good things from Matt Sanchez early on, however, the swirling December winds of GIANTS Stadium will be nothing like the 75 deg. SoCal weather you are accustomed to my friend!

North

It's the Steel City's division to lose, but this Big Ben injury is certainly something to keep your eye on. Look for Ray Lewis' bunch to take a slight step back from their AFC Title game appearance last season. Bold Playoff Prediction: The Bunguls, yes the Bunguls! Carson Palmer will have a stellar season throwing to Mr. Ochocinco (by the way, did you see the man not only kick a beautiful extra point, but one hell of a kickoff last week as well!) and the now levelheaded Chris Henry. Lock it up!

South

You could make an argument that this is the most intriguing division in all of football...the steady Colts, the upstart Texans, the always consistent Jags and the surprising Titans of last season. I just don't have a good feeling about this year's team in Indy...no Tony Dungy, no Marvin Harrison and an irritable Peyton Manning who not long ago asked what the hell the team was doing this offseason. I'm going to stick with my boy Kerry Collins...they don't ask him to do much down in Tennessee, protect the ball, throw it 20 times and handoff to their dynamic duo of LenDale White and Chris Johnson (the most underrated and overlooked player in the NFL). Team to Watch Out For: The Texans...led by Mario Williams (hey, I guess he was the right pick over Reggie Bush a few years back!) the Houston defense is nasty and the passing attack anchored by soft spoken and soft handed Andre Johnson is lethal. Look for a huge season out of running back Steve Slaton.

West

From one of the best divisions to perhaps the worst. The San Diego "Supa"Chargers! are the obvious pick, and I don't think the final standings will even be close. The usually rock-steady Broncos are an absolute catastrophe and the Chiefs spent a fortune on Matt Cassel...have we forgotten the man had one good season in relief of Tom Tom, and never started a game in college!!!! My advice to KC..give the ball to Larry Johnson 100x a game. What team have we left out? Ahhh, yes the dysfunctional Al Davis-lead, Commitment to Stupidity Silver and Black Raiders...Boldest Prediction of Them All: Those very Raiders will go 8-8. Led by their all-world cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha (yes, he is the man in that Dick's Sporting Good's commercial lighting the store on fire!) and solid running game, the Boys by the Bay will get back to respectability this year. Lock it up!

The National Football Conference

East

Major U.S. cities, nasty and bitter rivalries, legendary coaches and players, and now a certain dog-killer. How can you not love the NFC East! Should be another fantastic year between the Boys, Skins, Eagles and G-Mennnnnnnn. I'm gonna go with my heart and pick Big Blue, but it won't be easy. The Boys went addition by subtraction in getting rid of T.O., the Eagles could put my grandmother at middle linebacker and still scare the shit out of me and you gotta figure Daniel Synder is going to get things right in our nation's capital one of these years. Biggest Step Back: As if the placement of their $40 million scoreboard is not enough of a ominous premonition, things won't be pretty this year in Big D...Wade Phillips will be on the hot seat all season long.

North

The Old Black and Blue Division...fantastic QB depth in the Great White North...Cutler, Stafford, Rodgers and the Hag from Hattiesburg. I've already declared this Brett Favre debacle won't end well so I'm going with the Cheeseheads, but expect a fantastic battle for the wild card between the Purple People Eaters and the Monsters of the Midway. MVP Worthy Season: Fueled by his former teammate's refusal to accept retirement, Aaron Rodgers will go ballistic! 30 plus touchdowns, half of which will land in the outstretched arms of Greg Jennings.

South

The NFL's big crap shoot year in and year out! Four years in a row with a different team winning the division. I don't believe Matt Ryan will have a sophomore slump and Tony Gonzalez is a huge addition...I like the Birds to win the South with the Saints finishing a very close second. The Panthers will be respectable, but it's time to give up on Jake Delhomme. BIG Prediction: Every team in this division will finish at or better than .500.

West

Not sure what to make of this division..definitely the least sexy in the league. Are the Cards for real, can the Hawks bounce back, will Mike Singletary pull down his pants in the locker room again, are the Rams even in existence anymore??? Lead by Shaun Hill and Frank Gore, I like the 49ers to compete for much of the season, but Kurt Warner and his array of weapons will triumph. What is Everyone Thinking?: I hear all these so-called experts promoting the Seahawks as the NFL's biggest sleeper...what do they see that I don't? Matt Hasselbeck is getting long in the tooth, the D is nothing to write home about, a banged up Walter Jones and Edgerrin James as the solution at running back? 8-8 at best for Seattle...they do, however, have the most underrated fans perhaps in all of sports...sheer fanatics and the stadium is constructed beautifully to lock in the noise from the 12th man!

Playoff Predictions

AFC

Division Winners:

New England

Pittsburgh

Tennessee
San Diego

Wild Card Winners:

Cincinnati

Indianapolis

NFC

Division Winners:

New York

Green Bay

Atlanta

Arizona

Wild Card Winners:

Philadelphia

Minnesota

AFC Title Game: New England over San Diego

NFC Title Game: Atlanta over Philadelphia

Super Bowl: Atlanta over New England, 31-24

Why??? As much as I hate to say it, the Pats are just too well coached not to win the AFC. As for the NFC, Matt Ryan is the real deal and how fitting would it be for Michael Vick to be beaten by his old mates. Falcon fans rejoice after years of believing Vick was the answer!

The Lightning BOLT

He's done it again folks...Usain Bolt broke yet another world record, once again in incredible fashion, when he ran 19.19 seconds in the 200 meter race today at the World Championships in Berlin. The Jamaican Juggernaut also broke the world record in the 100 meter dash earlier this week.

I know nowadays when we see unreal feats like this we automatically think PED's, but I got a good feeling that this is al natural. This soon to be 23-year old is flat out SICK! The next closest sprinter in the 200 today was over a half second behind His Boltness!!! He is literally destroying any and all competition.

Bolt's previous best in the 200 was 19.30, also a world record. Is it ridiculous to think he may one day break 19 seconds and/or 9.5 in the 100??

9.8 seconds and 19.40 second used to be the standards in these races, The World's Fastest Man is proving those are truly numbers of the past.

Hey Tom Coughlin... do we have a roster spot for this guy?!?!

Stop Punishing the Innocent!

In yet another asinine move by the NCAA, the governing body of collegiate athletics announced today that the Memphis Tigers would be stripped of their 38 wins and Final Four appearance in 2007-2008...why is it asinine? Because once again, the NCAA is punishing the innocent and letting the guilty parties off scott free.

While the NCAA did not reveal the identity of the player in question, it can be clearly summarized that it was all-world talent Derrick Rose. The Chicago Bulls star is alleged to have had another person take his SAT exam so he would be eligible as a freshman. Memphis argued it did not have enough information to substantiate the allegations in November 2007 and cleared him to play. The NCAA committee also claimed that Rose's brother received free transportation on the team's charter plane and hotel lodging that season.

The tragedy in all this is that Memphis and its current players, not Rose or former coach John Calipari, will be put on three year's probation. Rose will continue to make millions in the NBA and Calipari, who roamed the sidelines at UMass during the Marcus Camby scandal, will remain seated in Lexington, Kentucky presiding over arguably the most prestigious basketball institution in the country. Meanwhile, the current Tiger players and staff will watch as the banners are removed from the rafters of the FedEx Forum.

The NCAA will continue to be rocked by questionably behavior until the accused are punished. I believe they should be working hand in hand with the NBA and NFL to punish players who have turned pro after allegations surface and allow for sanctions to be leveled against a coach and his staff even if he is no longer at the institution.

THE NCAA REMAINS THE ONLY INSTITUTION IN THIS COUNTRY WHERE THE INNOCENT ARE PUNISHED AND THE GUILTY ARE FREE!

Brett's Here and So is His Circus

Mark my words Viking fans, this won't end well. It already hasn't begun well and things rarely wrap themselves up into a nice bow. After all, this is Brett Favre we are talking about. An egotistical, selfish, unadulterated circus clown. The man used to be a legend...The Gunslinger, The Every-Man, The Lambeau Leapster, The Quintessential Cheesehead, but all that is now gone. He turned his back on humility, respect for his teammates and the league, and in my opinion, has forever turned his back on The Green and Gold. But, this is what Brett wanted all along...to play on the rival Vikings, to battle his old mates two Sunday's a year, to show former boss Ted Thompson that even at age 40, he can still go deep, still fit footballs into water-tight holes, still keep up with the youngsters.

The NFL's most prolific passer is clearly an upgrade over Sage Rosenfels and Tavaris Jackson at QB, but what kind of message does this whole fiasco send to the rest of the team. How can Brad Childress ever expect accountability, sacrifice and honesty from his players after only a few weeks ago saying, "The book on Brett Farve is closed." The Vikings sold their soul for the shot at a title, knowing full well in a month, a year or two years, whenever this experiment ends, they'll be back at square one yet again. Aren't they concerned that Brett is only doing this for revenge? Aren't they concerned about Brett's beat up body holding up for what they hope is more than a 16 game season? Aren't they concerned that by Week 10 Brett will be wishing he was sitting on his tractor and not on his rear end after a Brian Urlacher blitz.

And Brett, doesn't your legacy mean anything to you? You're completely tarnishing it! You're the joke of the league! What if you get hurt and your consecutive game streak ends because of this debacle. Sure other legendary players have traded uniforms, but Michael Jordan went to Washington, not Detroit, LA or New York...as the movie title goes, "You're Sleeping With the Enemy."

Brett, it's time to once and for all get over the Packers releasing you, it was the right move...you were beat up, your body was letting you down, your arm strength wasn't what it once was (Corey Webster proved that!) and they had a very worthy air apparent in waiting. Stop all this flip flopping!

You're in for a rude awakening this season Brett, one that I believe you'll regret for the rest of your life.

School is Back in Session!

The Maize and Blue, War Eagle, Howard's Rock, a Saturday night SEC battle in Death Valley, Penn State's White Out Game, The Tunnel Walk, Georgia's Black Out, The Iron Bowl, The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, The Big House, Colorado's Ralphie, Script Ohio, FSU's Chief Osceola mounting Renegade and then tossing a flaming spear, Clean, Old Fashioned Hate, The Apple Cup, Yell Practice, The Game, Paul Bunyan's Axe, the pink road locker room at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa, Running Through the T, The 12th Man at Texas A&M, Mike the Tiger, a Thursday night in Blacksburg, USC's Traveler, The Holy War, student volunteers putting fresh paint (containing flakes of gold) on the Notre Dame helmets on Monday night's, The Egg Bowl, Wake up the Echoes, The Swamp, a crisp October afternoon in South Bend, JoePa, The Rose Bowl, Bedlam, Tennessee's Rocky Top, Linebacker U, Miami's camouflage uniforms, The Victors, Harvard vs. Yale, The Tiger Walk, Army vs. Navy, Uga, The Little Brown Jug, Boomer Sooner, Tailgating at the Grove, The Red River Shootout, The Heisman Trophy, Between the Hedges, Touchdown Jesus, Texas' Bevo, The Big Game and finally...Brent Musburger's voice saying at exactly 8:00PM on a Saturday night while you sit on your couch with a Sam Adams' Octoberfest in hand..."Folks, you are looking live at a packed and raucous..." Holy Shit! I just creamed my pants!!!!

Ask people who know me what my favorite sport is and they'd likely answer "basketball." Put a gun to my head and a deep dark secret surfaces...it's college football.

The pageantry, the pride, the fight songs, the traditions, the legendary uniforms, coaches and stadiums...who among us doesn't have a hard on! I look forward to those chilly October late afternoons like I'm looking forward to a scantily-clad Erin Andrews entering my dreams tonight!

And what a college football season we are in store for this year 501 fans...a litany of questions will be answered!

- Will we witness the greatest Heisman race of all time...Tebow, McCoy and Bradford?
- Are the Golden Domers finally headed in the right direction?
- Can Florida repeat?
- Is Tim Tebow the greatest college football player of all-time?
- Has USC taken a step back? Will UCLA steal some of their thunder?
- Will Georgia and Oklahoma exact revenge in their rivalry games?
- Can Miiiiiiiichigan right the ship?
- Will anyone go undefeated?
- Big 12 vs. SEC...which conference is superior?

The list goes on and on and on...and as your resident college football prognosticator, I have some of those answers!

Team to Watchout For: Ole Miss...very favorable SEC schedule...no Florida or Georgia

2nd Team to Watchout For: Stanford, yes folks the Cardinal! With alumnus Tiger Woods in attendance, The Trees defeat USC at The Coliseum on November 14!!! Lock it up!

Biggest Tumble: Texas Tech...no Crabtree, no Harrell, murderous Big 12...Mike Leach, the most innovative offensive mind in all of football, will have his Red Raiders competitive, but no where near their level in 2008.

Prediction Sure To Go Wrong: Cal triumphs USC, wins the Pac-10 and finds itself in Pasadena on January 1. Some will say Cal belongs in the BSC Championship Game.

2nd Prediction Sure To Go Wrong: Notre Dame goes 10-2, and makes a BCS bowl on the strength of their name...South Bend Haters are furious!!

3rd Prediction Sure To Go Wrong: Rich & Co. will have the Maize and Blue over .500.

4th Prediction Sure to To Go Wrong: No one will go undefeated.

5th Prediction Sure to Go Wrong: Georgia upends Florida in Jacksonville...Oklahoma doesn't enjoy the same fate against the Longhorns.

Boldest Prediction: The team closet to going undefeated will be the Utah Utes, before losing to bitter rival BYU in their season's final game

ACC Champ: Georgia Tech

Big East Champ: Pitt

Big Ten Champ: Penn State

Big 12 Champ: Texas

Pac-10 Champ: Cal

SEC Champ: Florida

MAAC Champ: IO.....ohhhhh, too soon? Sorry Boom Boom, no more Saturday afternoon magic at Mazella Field!

Heisman Winner: Colt McCoy...nation's most prolific passer, superior O-line and his top wide receiver, Jordan Shipley, returns

BCS Championship Game: Texas defeats Florida, 27-20

Enjoy the season kids!!! Remember, it's the shortest season of any sport...we'll be bowling before you know it!

Thomper!

It's the end of an era, Matty T aka Thomper aka Thompa Dude aka Southie's Finest is leaving New Ro to embark on new adventures down south.

Let me tell you first hand its a sad day around here, we're losing a legend. In and out of two decades Thompa has bled Maroon and Gold in one way or another.

All I can do now is savor all the memories this walking God has given me. Thankfully he will still hold his title in the BDC as President Emeritus forever. A title like that does not change with location, it lasts a life time!

Seems like only yesterday this modern marvel taught me the lessons that I need to proceed with life. From how to play ping-pong to get someone to ask for balls on their face to the technique of driving a bit to intoxicated to finally be a friend!

It's cause of him that I can name the Bruin greats, or the number of Celtic championships even the starting 9 for the Sawx!

He's given us: slight Southie accents, barstoolsports.com, Boston Irish, Cam Neely highlights, Silence of the Lambs quotes, stick shift lessons, rides home, shoulders to cry on when you end it with your girl, Jameson breath and McHangover!

Please share your favorite Thompsonism or story with us in a new post or comment.

I refuse to officially end this post because the man the myth the legend isn't gone...

Boredom

First off I would like to apologize to all you Huguenuts for my absence to the blog. I have been extremely caught up in some bull shit class that I have been taking. I know that's no excuse since I sit a computer screen all day, but I been face deep in a text book reading like Brendan is with 15 yr old Michigan pie! Deep!

Now that I have no homework to do I am sitting at my computer with not a fucking thing to do! Holy shit is this job BORING! Let me tell you about my day...

Z

Z

Z

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Got to work around 10am to work out

10 minutes on the old chick magnet (Elliptical)

Shoulders

Shower

Towel off

Check my email

Plan my parent's surprise party

Create my fantasy football name: Plaxico's Butt Plug (tasteless I know but, read the post below!)

Space out and stare at the screen for about...25min

Call Jay for lunch

Space out and stare at the screen for about an hour

Eat lunch with Jay, his mommas biscuits and the boss

Space out and stare at the screen for 4 hours

Write this post!

Z

Z

Z

Z

Z

Z

As you can see not a very productive day, job or life, maybe that's why I continued the life of this blog. OK well gonna go space out for another 2 hours then go home and do it all again tomorrow at 7am motha effer!

Man Time is here!!!!

There are many times in a mans life that he looks forward too; puberty, sex for the first time, sex with a different person, sex with two different girls in the same day, playoffs of any one of the four major sports, the super bowl and some (not Mikey 5) the day their children are born! There is one thing that every man looks forward to year in and year out that nothing can beat...... Ladies and Gentleman what i am talking about is none other than Fantasy Football! Fantasy Football has been around for decades getting men divorced and winning men a lot of money. Our children will know and love the sport that we have all grown up with and soon we may even see it professionally. There are so many different places to play such as CBS Sportsline, ESPN and 501's favorite Yahoo! Your one and only goal is to be able to brag for the next year to all your closest friends and relatives that they ain't shit and you know the most about NFL football bar none! This includes trash talking over work email saying inappropriate things about the other guys children and mothers all just for complete satisfaction of being the best. What makes it so special is you have 5 days to think, rethink, and second guess yourself to who you should start, who you should sit or who you should think about trading. It is a chess game for those who suck at chess. All to end on Sunday when you no longer have any control and you sit with your beer in one hand, your junk in the other, and the laptop with live stats on the table seeing if you will feel like a million bucks for the next week. Just so everyone out there who doesn't indulge in this addicting drug must know, winning the championship is only 51% of the victory. Some may say the true victory or the other 49% of being on top is having "THE" best team name. We have had many clever names in the past ranging from the champion of last year "Upshaw = Underground" to "Vicks Rabid Bitches" to rude and crude "Lock-n-load@VaTech" to "Clitoria's Secret". We can only hold our breath and wait to hear what silly, clever, rude and all around amazing team names will come this year. To all those fantasy fanatics out there, be aware because 501 is coming to a public league near you this year to take you DOWN for all your women and children (cips is running out of kids)!!!!