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If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. With apologies to the late Mr. Cochran, this glove, much like Orenthal James Simpson's Isotoner's, were a perfect match. With a lone birdie on the 16th hole yesterday afternoon, 29-year old, South Carolina native Lucas "Oil" Glover silenced a Tiger, caused yet another heartbreak for a NY favorite and at last, quieted the rainy skies.

How do you put into words a tournament that came with so much anticipation, so many back stories...from Amy Mickelson's battle with breast cancer, to Tiger's quest to tame The Black a second time, to the U.S. Open's return to a fully public course, to the rowdy NY fans...how do you explain to someone years from now, the multiple rain delays, the awkward tee times, the Monday afternoon finish? I don't think it truly felt like a United States Open until yesterday morning when El Tigre moved to minus 1 and Phil set free an eagle...the 20,000 plus crowd went bonkers, but even then, as I sat at my desk shielding the live NBC telecast from the watchful eyes of my boss, I couldn't help but think this tournament deserved better.

New York loves its underdogs...the '69 Mets, the Super Bowl III, Joe "Willy" Namath-lead Jets, but what The Empire State truly craves are the favs...Tiger, Phil, even Ernie or Retief. We revel in watching the best golfers on the planet hit that same tree we do on 7 and land in the fescue off the tee on 15, but at the tourney's end, we want the hands of someone we know cupping our trophy.

So congrats to "The Golden" Glover...here's to you conquering Our Black...next time, just put it in the deep rough like the rest of us!

From Brownies to the Gold Award
Now don't get me wrong folks, this tournament wasn't a complete debacle, certainly not for Jeff or I. While waking up at 4am on Friday wasn't exactly invigorating, we hoped a stop to Dunkin Donuts would be just the energy we needed. Well, I'll bet 2-1 that the man who took my order also defacted on my egg white sandwich, and it's likely Jeff's cream cheese. well you can guess what organ that came from. Ok, ok, not the greatest start, but once we get to Farmingdale State University, the day will really get going, right?

Unfortunately, Stalin was working the security check that morning and forced us to consume our breakfast in record time. No bottles allowed here fellas....oh yea, how come Father Time just strolled through with a water bottle full of explosives!!

We finally boarded the bus and arrived at The Black...little did we know that mud wrestling would be the main attraction that day. Jeff bitched and moaned about his poor Nikes, while I had to traverse the same ground with a fucking boot on my foot!

Amazingly enough, despite the many problems, Jeff would go on to learn a valuable lesson that day about what it means to help our future women leaders of the world, the Nassau County Girl Scouts. While I slaved over a 400 degree grill for 6 hours, Jeff, after consuming enough peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to kill Mine That Bird, whisked the freshly cooked burgers and chicken into the tent at the 12th green to be served to thousands of unruly customers. Meanwhile, we made friends with Julie, the competition BBQ'er/ mother of two who can cook anything from rocks to c@cks!, Tom, who made his battle with swine flu an open and rather disturbing topic of conversation and of course, "Bless Us that's Hot" Bob who offered up more prayers to the heavens in one morning than the Pope.

But hey, we helped some chicks, ate for free and watched some golf...sounds like a great day to me! What do you think Jeff?

See you in North Carolina blogheads!