The First Night

So I've been here less than 24 hours and I think I've been drunk for at least half that time.  Here's a quick rundown of how the last day has gone....Sticky Fingers with Kim and the world's greatest ribs...I suggest the California Sweet Sauce.  Then off to The Penthouse where two women engaged in an act that most save for the bedroom....Mike nearly lost his life thanks to a tatted titted stripper who didn't have the $7.50 to pay for her vodka cranberry.  Back to the apartment to consume a plethora of brewskies.  Jay and I road off to South Carolina to check out some more naked bodies.  Nearly a grand later, one of us had semen in his pants and one didn't.  Back to the apartment where Mike, G and Cips are doing their best Jonas Brothers impression.  A few games of Asshole later and everyone has that feeling of having a nail being pounded in one's forehead...thanks Amstel Lights in a can!  Some apparently felt the effect less than others as two of the five had a 6:15AM tee time...though no one at the pro shop approved of it.  This morning we dined on a fabulous breakfast of eggs, taters, bacon, English Muffins and OJ...the only thing missing was a Mirage Diner chocolate shake.  Today, another blistering hot day...pool waterpolo, a jog through the complex by Cips and I which featured an encounter with a rabid squirrel and 9 holes of golf on the Azalea Course....Cart Wars was in full effect until things got serious at hole 7...Cips and Jay win 2 of 3 holes...the exclamation point coming on a TREMENDOUS putt by Cips as G photographed exotic birds.

God only knows what tonight will bring!