I Thought You Were Clean

Manny, I’m disappointed in you. I know you don’t care how I feel, you don’t even know who I am. But I’m a Red Sox fan who despite the bullshit you pulled during your finals days in Beantown, still secretly harbored good feelings for you.

Sure you’re a nut case, an oddball, some might even say an aloof and selfish moron, but you were ours. Your personality is, was and what will continue to make the Boston Red Sox such a joy to rout for. Throwing the ball into the stands when there were only two outs, poking your head out of the Monsta’ scoreboard during a game with Baltimore, catching a flyball while simultaneously slapping five with a fan and of course, the infamous diving cut off of Johnny Damon’s throw to second base. As Sawx fans, we may have yelled, slammed our Sam Adams' and shook our collective heads in disbelief, but it would all vanish the next time you were up with runners in scoring position and sent one screaming onto Landsdowne Road.

I long believed that you were one of the very few that was clean, your 20/20 vision and natural power was all the juice that was needed. Quite frankly, you don’t even look like someone who lifts weights, but alas I forgot the world we live in today. Maybe it was a drug to help you out with those night into day games, a special caffeinated concoction to get you going in the morning or maybe it really was, as you say, something prescribed by a doctor. Whatever the reason, it really doesn’t matter because now you’ll just be lumped in with them…Clemens, Palmerio, Giambi, McGwire, Bonds, Sosa, Arod…just like them, you’ll be yet another bullet on Jose Canseco’s “I told you so list.”

If there’s a saving grace in this tale for me, it’s that you’re not in Boston right now. You’re in sunny LA wear fans care more about the surf report than the next opponent’s scouting report. We don’t need the saga that New York has acquired with Arod.

I guess this is just another example of Manny being Manny.