MAN what a trip!

Well 501 fans, the crew is finally back in NY...work tomorrow for three of us! Let me catch you all up on where we last left off...I believe it was when two of us were devouring 40 shrimp and one of us was diving head first into 3 feet of water! Wednesday night came and went with a SONIC boom...easily the most ridiculous night of the entire adventure...we had dancing contests, marriage proposals, voice-activated t-shirts, $3 rubber pizza by the slice, Eucharistic celebrations, Dancin' Deb, Dubious Danielle and another chick whose name escapes me, but whose thunder thighs never will! Off to Waffle House...I'll take grilled chicken and eggs...I think I just farted! Well the food wasn't great, but the laughs were in large supply and Cipps did enjoy the coffee. On returning home from the House of Waffles, complete chaos ensued...think Cart Wars without the carts...Mean Mike goes on a rampage with Cipps and G as his man targets...destroying beds and hearts in the process. Thursday morning was a rough one...head splitting headaches, little if any food to consume and feet that looked better suited for Big Foot! We five managed to make it over to the pool area where biddies were being born nearly as often as Pool Mike's boogers! Plenty of eye candy and an unexpcted appearance by Mike's brother Phil, soul patches for everyone! Thursday night saw us venture into downtown Calabash for some scullant seafood...deviled crabs, clams, shrimp, oysters, scallops and of course, Jay opts for an animal with legs, but damn that Michelob Ultra was good! After dinner, we headed to one of those gift shops that every small town in America has...you know, those ones that smell like your grandma's house. Well this one produced hermit crabs and some of the finest-looking 14-year old biddies 10 eyes have ever seen. G, clearly a fan of small crafts, just exited the store five minutes ago. Outside, the other four convinced Mike to sit on some kid's whoopie cushion, but the bum ankle prevented him from getting there in time...damn, that would have been the highlight of this trip, I'm telling you!!! Back at the apartment, the boys discussed what a great trip it had been and how a 4am wake-up call the next day was the last thing they were looking for. 4am came and all five arose from their slumber, packed the car, tied the bags to the roof rack tighter than a young girl's you know what and headed north. A few hours into the trip, we arrived at a Denny's...without doubt, some of the most horrific sights of my life...flies mating in midair, food left for days on tables and southerners ordering fried chicken and coke at 8AM!!!! Ok, enough of that....the remainder of the trip was unforgettable...karoke, farting, dinner dates being set-up via text and weird gas station stops..."Oh, you only want the 20 oz waters, well you might be interested in the sale we are running on 24 oz waters, still only $0.99" 13 hours later, we at last returned to New Ro where we each hit the wall...in true 501 fashion, however, we all arose early the next morning to head down to LI for the Bellmore Striders July 4th 4-miler. Upon arrival, we were informed that the race would indeed be 4 miles, not the more common 3.2 mile 5k distance preferred by one member of the group. Excellent times were posted by all and no one pulled a Michael Jackson and went into cardiac arrest...that's what I call a success!

So fans, until next time, I'm out like Billy Mays. KABOOM!