Two Cities for the Price of One

The tradition started nearly 20 years ago...my grandfather, uncles and father journeyed every summer North to The Fens to take in a Sawx game. As I got older, myself and my cousins one by one would be allowed to join in on The Big Trip. Lesser trips were made to Pawtucket and New Britain, home of the Red Sox AAA and AA affiliates respectively, every summer as well; everyone was allowed to attend those ones...only a select few made it to the big leagues. There was of course one class of people who didn't receive an invite to these getaways...aunts, mothers, sisters, female cousins...sorry ladies, no fallopian tubes here!

As much as we loved Boston, the city, as beautiful as it is, started to get a little boring. How many times can you visit Faneuial Hall or Quincy Market, sit next to the statue of Red smoking his infamous cigar, walk past the Old Boston Garden or drink a Sam Adams...ok ok, some things never get older! So the thought came up, why not travel to a different city each summer? What a great idea it was said my uncle! I'll go tell Dad (his father in law).

My uncle: "Dad, we are thinking of going to a different city this year, catch a game at Wrigley or something. What do you think?"

My grandfather's exact response and I quote..."Why in the Hell would I want to do that!"

Not quite the response we were looking for. My grandfather, a stubborn, hard-nosed, old-school kind of guy (Rest in Peace), only cared about one team and one team only...His Boston Red Sox.

And so the journey around the United States began!

My father, my Uncle Rob, Uncle Steve and I...thus far our travels have hit Chicago, Philly, Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati.

This year we were off to the Great White North...Minnesota, eh!

We should have known the trip was off to a bad start when we received a phone call early Friday morning that American Airlines was re-routing our flight through St. Louis and not Chicago. Things got worse when 10 feet before touching down in the Gateway City, the pilot suddenly sent the 737 straight back up..."Sorry folks, we hit a bad wind stream on the way down...let's try this from another angle."

Whew! I thought we were coming in a bit fast anyway!

Long story short and many angry encounters with AA Gate representatives later, our flight to Minneapolis was delayed several times before finally being canceled. Our intentions were to witness the Battle for Paul Bunyan's Axe the following morning so we figured, we'll rent a car and drive. How far canSt. Louis be from Minnesota anyway? 9 1/2hours that's how far!!! F*ck, I just figured it would be like driving from New York to Philly!

So stuck in St. Louis...an absolute dump of a town with the worst airport in America, we made the best of it. The Red Birds were hosting The Brew Crew that night so off to the New Busch Stadium we went! After scoring box seats for less than half face value, we were seated..peanuts and beers in hand!

What a beautiful park! The St. Louis Arch in the background, classic franchise on the field and well, that's about it! If you have any desire to go to St. Louie, I'd advise you to change your travel plans.

The next morning we jetted to the airport at 4:30AM hoping to catch the 7AM to Minny...hey, what do you know? AA cancels yet another flight! Normally, with glasses of tomato juice in hand, we write on napkins on the flight where we want to go next year...we decided to instead do this now with 6 1/2 hours to spare until we are finally off to Minnesota. For the first time since beginning this venture, everyone was in agreement...San Fran and Oakland in 2010!

Well, we missed the Minnesota-Wisconsin game, but we certainly didn't miss the after party! Goddamn, now this is college football. After sneaking into the stadium as everyone was exiting, it was off to grab some post game food and beverages. Tailgating as far as the eye can see!!!!! Beers flowing like the piss I took this morning and crisp brats on the grill!!!!!

New York is a great place, but we miss something that is central to the core of American society. Big Time College Football!!! I'd argue Minnesotans (not sure if that's a word) are as passionate, if not more so, about their Golden Gophers than Twins, Wild, Wolves and Vikes combined!

Saturday night was one to remember...we hit up The Local...home to the world's finest Jameson; so says the bar front at least. Jamesons and a few pints down...off to Dan Kelly's. A few rounds of Guinness and there's my uncle accepting a Car Bomb Challenge from a groom to be wearing a leopard print shirt.

Housed him like a true New Yorkaaa should!!!! By the way, everyone in this city is as nice as can be!

Sunday morning was the Twin Cities Marathon....Jesus Christ, between the Twins, the Marathon, the Minnesota/Wisconsin game, Brett taking on his old mates on Monday night and the Wild opening their season up Tuesday night...this is the sports capital of America!!!!!!

Now off to the Metrodome...The Homer Dome, The Dome, The Met...whatever you want to call it. Christ is this place TREMENDOUS!!!! And completely unfit for baseball, but the locals love it and opponents hate it!! I heard more positive things about The Dome, than excitement about the newly created, outdoor Target Field. A post-game tribute to former Twins, including the most famous of all..Kirby Puckett, had most fans in attendance in tears.

Props to the grounds crew for having the joint ready to go for Monday Night Football the following night...and back again today for the Twins against the Tigers in a sudden death playoff!

More observations about The Dome...it looks like they are playing on green carpet, ear drum-exploding loudness, a steeper stair climb than most mountains, terrible sight lines and beyond strange seeing baseball indoors.

Slight interlude....there's something really special about living in a city with four major teams. Everyone lives and dies with their team...no Yanks vs. Mets or Giants vs. Jets. All Vikes, all Twins!!!!

Back to the hotel we went to drop off our commemorative "Last Regular Season Game at the Metrodome" Certificates. We noticed immediately, we seemed to shrink a few inches since we were last in the Marriott. "God these people are big!"

What a minute....those are players on the Green Bay Packers!!!!!!!! In our hotel!!! I didn't see anyone I recognized, but it was sure as hell them!

The night ended with another tour of bars in downtown Minny, ending as always at an Irish Pub...O'Donovans was the place...beautiful music, beautiful rugby paintings, beautiful Guinness!

Back to New York we traveled yesterday, through Chicago this time...O'Hare International Airport decorated to the "T" in Chicago 2016 Olympic gear...touch break for the Midwesterners! The airport workers were just getting around to taken down all the posters.

Quick interruption...throughout most of this weekend, my Uncle Rob donned a Penn State sweatshirt; now he never attended Penn State, he's never been to Beaver Stadium or even been to the campus...at a minimum, 50 people said to him, "Hey I graduated Penn State in "X" year, "Go Joe Pa!," "Ya, Nittany Lions!" "Happy Valley baby!" My point...you could spend 50 days in New York with a (insert college name) shirt on and not have 50 people make a comment. The rest of this country has a fanatical, bodering on religious/unhealthy, obsession with collegiate athletics...we need this in the Northeast and we need it now!

People yelling, horns honking, cabbies screaming...ahh back in NY!!!

There's something beautiful about the middle of this country...land, serenity, peacefulness...not really my thing though.

Can't wait for the West Coast next year!

More Thoughts

- Most of our trips thus far have been to the Midwest...flying over Ohio, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, etc., you come to realize something...90% of this great country is farm land. Here's the problem...the US was and is based on the agricultural system (that's why our schools are off during the summer), but very few people are farming anymore. We import most of our fruits and vegetables so in effect we are left with more vacant land than we know what to do with and because no one wants to farm (and believe me, I don't blame them...probably no tougher lifestyle), our country is in the trillion dollar debt it's in. There's too many smart people in this country to let this issue persist...use the land for something, encourage people to farm, stop importing!

- Along the same lines as the first point, there are really only four major cities in this country (by my count anyway)...New York, LA, Chicago and Houston...there are of course, a few others that are close, but I wouldn't call them major...Atlanta, Boston, Philly, Dallas, Phoenix. As we continue our journey throughout the US, I've come to realize that what most people in this country consider a city, is really nothing more than a large town with some skyscrapers (and most ain't scraping shit!). New York is home to over 8 million people! Minneapolis has barely 300,000!!!! Very few people around the US actually have a desire to live in the city the way many people in the New York area do. I also am more understanding why people who have never been to New York, are so intimidated or nervous when they arrive. Noise, police sirens, traffic, congestion, people honking horns...this isn't the case in other cities. Rush hour yesterday in Minneapolis had less people than you see on Route 110 at 2:00AM on a Wednesday!

- These first two points led to this question...if few people work in these cities and even less live there and we have all this vacant land that nobody is farming, what in the name of Hell do people do for work!!!