The NBA Finals

Ok, ok, I admit it...I was wrong, but so were you! I thought we'd see Bron Bron vs. Kobe too, but hey Dwight Howard and the Magical Magic against Odom's Candy Strippers isn't a bad consolation prize. In fact, I think Orlando-LA will be a far more competitive series than if The James Gang advanced. Detroit and Atlanta did very little in showing us how much help LeBron truly needs...leave it to Stan the Man to show us all our hoops deficiencies!

So here's a few quick hits as we are only hours before tip-off:

- Dwight Howard will realize he is the only man on the planet without a shred of body fat and continue to post huge double-double numbers throughout The Finals.

- A Gobstopper will fall out of Lamar Odom's shorts and be eaten by the gentleman who always sits next to Jack Nicholson though is never identified.

- When the series heads back to Orlando for Games 3, 4 and 5, Magic fanatic Tiger Woods will work on his chipping by taken part in a halftime show in which he clubs balls from various parts of Amway Arena into the hoop (all of the Cavs, save for James, repeat in unison, "Hey I can't even do that with a Spalding!")

- This year's ratings will surpass Celts-Lakers despite being LeBron-less.

- Rashard Lewis supplants himself as a second-tier NBA great...Ray Allen-type level

- Hedo hits one huge hoop to steal a game that the Lakers should have won

- Jameer Nelson will out duel Derek Fisher despite not playing since February.

-Rafer Austin aka "Skip to My Lou" will forget he is in the NBA and pull at least one ridiculous streetball move.

-Adidas will create a puppet-like ad featuring Dwight Howard dunking over LeBron and Kobe.

- Jeff Van Gundy will tell at least one embarrassing childhood story of brother Stan on the air.

- The Finals format (2-3-2) will ultimately doom the Magic as they lead 3-2 going back to LA for Game 6 and 7, losing both on the West Coast.

- Shaq calls Kobe after Game 7 and suggests they re-unite for a music video....Spike Lee directs

-Despite the loss, Dwight Howard's name is now routinely brought up in the conversation of best players in the league.

-Stan Van Gundy sheds tears in the press conference following the loss in Game 7

-Despite winning title #10 and surpassing the late, great Red Auerbach, Kobe convinces Phil to bypass retirement in hopes they can build a second dynasty in La La Land. Kobe signs a 3-year deal this offseason and finances The Zen Master's back surgery.

-Phil feels the best he's felt in years in 2010 and decides to regrow the beard.